Should you contact your first love of 10 years before he gets married if he got engaged two months after you broke up
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Only if its to tell him about your STD. Answer
If you think contacting them before the wedding will help you, then do it as soon as possible and do it by phone. Don't wait until right before the wedding. That will be harder. It probably won't help you though. You may need to just "move on" by yourself. It's very hard anytime you break up, but to see them engaged two months later is probably even harder. The best thing to do is just keep busy and to work on getting over them. You can do it and you'll be happier when you do. Answer
No, do not contact them. As cruel as this may sound, your relationship is over and that person's new relationship is none of your business. It is hard now, but it would be even worse if you contact the person. Answer
IT SOUNDS LIKE A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP. I HAVE YET TO SEE ONE OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS WORKOUT. WHAT DAMAGE WOULD IT DO IF YOU CONTACT HIM? IF YOU DONT THEN YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THINKING WHAT IF? CALL HIM. GET IT OVER WITH AND THEN MOVE ON. Answer
I was in a long term relationship with the love of my life for six years. I was close to his family and for the first time in my life, I experienced a real "family" type atmosphere. I was deeply in love and we were very close. We fought often, because he was working at night, and I had to get up early for work. We broke up and reunited about three times, which really took it's toll. Well he told me he wanted out. Not in person, but on the phone. He stopped contacting me and so did his family. It was as though I didn't exist. More than anything else, I'm hurt by the fact that I was literal abandoned by these people who I truly loved. The worst part is that I've never had a strong family unit. My parents divorced when I was six years old. They haven't spoken since. I'm thirty five. That means that any family event , or holiday is very stressful, because only one will come and then my siblings and I feel like we have to choose. I'm literally on my own, without any support, as I have to quell any emotion I feel at work. I live in an area away from the city so there isn't a lot of opportunity to meet people. I'm smart, attractive and totally suffering. I've even spent holidays alone, because I can't get over the fact that my long term boyfriend, who I truly loved, met someone else and is now married with a child. He met someone about 4 months after we broke up. Sometimes I think he probably met her before that. It was clearly a rebound relationship. The worst part is they have a child now and a family unit that has been so lacking in my life. I've dated and I know there have been men I've passed on who could have offered me so much more, but my anger and depression sabotaged any chance of my finding happiness. When they say time heals all wounds. I don't think that is true. I believe there are some things which are so painful, that they change you. I regret the day I ever met him. When we met, I was so excited about starting my life, fresh. I was happy and then he came into my life. How I wish that day never came. Life can change on a dime.REPLY: I'm so sorry that you had to go through this pain. Just a word to the wise: We often recreate relationship dynamics in our adult lives that mimic our childhood pain. You say that you often argued and broke up with your ex -that sounds painful. You also say: "my anger and depression sabotaged any chance of my finding happiness." Please understand that you can find love and change in your life. I would suggest that you find a really good therapist and work through your own personal issues. This is not about your ex. This is about you. Please try to find personal healing so that you can be in healthy relationships in the future. You cannot recreate the love that you were missing in the past until you understand yourself better. I know that it's really hard, but you can do it.
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Yes. Contact your first love always. And two months is a little soon after a break up don't you think? Is this a rebound relationship for him? Answer
Did you ever think that maybe this isn't a rebound relationship? Maybe its an affair he was having behind your back. Answer
Why are you wanting to contact him? What are you wanting to say? I am only asking because, I went down this same path you are thinking of doing. I contact my first love from high school. 22 years had past without contact with him. In fact, 22 years ago we had a nasty break up and things were said and done to each other. But regardless, I never stop thinking about him, wondering where he was, what he was doing, and if he was happy, what ifs, and if he ever thought of me, etc.
I found out he lived one mile from my sister, and in a moment of weakness, curiosity, and longing, I called him. It was has if 22 years hadn't past by. We seemed the same, and he seemed as excited to talk to me as I was him. Things were nice, fun in the beginning. Our conversations were friendly and a lot of talk of the old days were discussed. But then our conversation turned to more than friendly. Our relationship changed from just casual. People eventually found out, people were disappointed, and friendships were lost because of our reconnection. This went on for 3 years.
An affair is an affair whether it is emotional or sexual. Emotional affairs are just as damaging as a sexual affair. Emotional affairs take away from the relationship~ marriage you have with someone else. But our relationship had to end. It was taking its toll on both our lives.
It hurts not to have him in my life. He became my best friend again, my lover, and someone I never thought I could let go again. But it had to end before others were hurt. As it is now I hurt. I hurt tremendously. But I live on for my childrens' sake in a marriage that is meaningless to me. I dream at night for a man Ill never hold, or have in my life again. I had a second chance with him, and it wasn't meant to be. But that is hard to convince myself and my heart that.
I love him and Ill allows love him. But neither one of us want to hurt anyone. We both have lived double lives because of all this.
My advice to you. Don't contact him. I wish I had not contact my ex. It has only complicated things in his life and mine. There is something about first loves. If you value your marriage, whatever relationship you have with someone, do not contact your ex, first loves or whatever. Its only asking for trouble. You never get over your first and you always carry them in a special place in your heart. And sometimes our hearts don't always listen to our heads. And don't think it can not happen to you, because it can.
Please don't judge me. I wasn't out to rekindle a relationship with a married man with a family, it just happened. So my advice, if you are married do not call your ex. Feelings possibly will be stirred up, and no amount of control might stop you.
If you haven't been in my shoes, don't judge. I'm only being honest, and I have learned from my mistake. I am paying for it dearly.
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I have had recent contact with my first love also after 18 years, but our ending was the intervention of others. We too have talked and talked for hours and it was like nothing had ever changed. I am married now and have 3 children and do still love my husband, he is divorced from his wife and cannot see his children. I do not want to ever lose touch with him again as he was my best friend. I am not one who can give advice, it is confusing when all these feelings come flooding back again. I have hurt for years and a day has never gone by with out a thought of him, I feel so much better for contacting him but this may not be for everyone. Our friendship has only just started and i don't know where it will lead if anywhere, but if anyone has anymore advice i would love to hear it. Let him go honey.
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Let him go. Answer
I don't know exactly how had your relationship been. I believe he might have a reason for being engaged in such a short period - "Two months". At least to be fair to both, you could talk to him and understand if he is doing this against you or out of love for the new girl. If you really love this person, I really think you should call him. At least you tried. If it's for real that he is over you, unfortunate but realistically, you have a reason to help you rationalise to not pursue further and move on as you know he is no longer into you. He no longer deserves you and your love and cares.Does it trouble you thinking that it might be a rebound relationship for him? Do you still think he did it for a reason? He might still love you? If I had a choice, I would find out before it's too late, for we might end up regretting things that we didn't do to savor something that meant to us so much. How worse could it get? (1) Getting to know the worst consequence - that he choose to marry the new girl because he now loves her or (2) To regret for never getting the courage to find out the truth and struggling in your own thoughts for all the answers you wanted so badly. I hope that whatever you do now, is that you tried your best and not to regret for never tried harder for the one you loved so deeply; besides, he is still not married, only engaged.
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Tell him what you feel and let him chose his destiny. The period right before you get married is the time when you most seriously are deciding if it is the right thing to do. If you tell him how you feel and he has any reservations about getting married then it would better for his "wife to be" to be presented with that before she takes her vows than after; and it would be better for him to face any reservations he has head on.
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yeah it would be interesting for you to see if you're still attracted. but i bet he's got a beer belly now. and a spotty back
Aw, I feel for you! Maybe not that long but... anyways look at the bright side. you're single! flirt with anyone you want! think of all the bad things about them (mean ik) think of why this is better...
If they are not in a relationship try telling them how u feel or telling them the mistake you made leaving them.
Henry VIII first got married to Catherine of Aragon in 1509.
A better question would beIf they broke up twice in six months and shes two months pregnant two months after they got back together is she pregnant?And the answer would be yes.
Can you answer these questions?